Writing

From now on I think I will always have to say that the best compliment I've ever recieved is my brother saying I'm a super penny.

But I was just thinking about AP English and the 2nd or 3rd writing we did when we were all failing [quite epically I might add] and Mr. Marsh assigned us to read Living Like Weasels.

I wrote.
I worked *really* hard. I planned and edited and rewrote and I really put some effort in. Looking back I think I can safely say that the paper I ended up with was the best writing I had done in my life.

Mr. Marsh used my paper as an example.

!!! Do you know how exciting that was? That meant a LOT coming from him. And although my lil bro has usurped the #1 compliment giver position as of last week, it is still true to say that one of the very best compliments I have ever received came out of that class. He was reading my paper to the class and stumbled across this line - "Living Like Weasels," an essay by Annie Dillard, is also a lesson in perspective; life is looked at from the shallowness of suburbia and the depth of lung and brain and bone.

I remember very clearly that he said this sentance is grammatically incorrect. but - ah, I can't even touch it!

I don't know why, exactly, that I remembered this so clearly right now at 12:32 AM when clearly I should be sleeping because obviously there is way too much to do on weekends here.

I guess it is because the grammar on this blog is sometimes - not awesome. And often I use words that I know Mr. Marsh would scribble out with a red pen. I use linking verbs. I write in conflicting tenses; I worship passive voice. I use the word THING.

Sometimes late at night I get on my blog to check if anyone has commented about anything I wrote. Tonight I wondered - what would Mr. Marsh think? What would he say about these words? What would he say about the depth *behind* the words?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When I read the quote that I have titled my blog after by Rainer Maria Rilke, I feel like my entire soul is nodding. The sense of ... agreement? or rightness? is so strong that I can feel it. His words bring out in me a visceral response.

I think my goal is to move you. To force you to engage with me. To cause you to change.

I am not a great writer yet. Perhaps I never will be. Reading Wendell Berry on a regular basis is a surefire way to make you realize how little control you have over your own language.

In any case - look beyond the words. Rilke's quote has a sentance that begins with "And." It is still powerful.

Find my purpose - life is large. It is beautiful and bold. It is gift and inheritance and we are living NOW. Take this moment and Be. Oh, just be.



To end this post, let me write for you the line of a Sabbath Poem that I have memorized:

You will remember, watching the clouds, the future of love.