i
read an article not that long ago about how a lot of people don't like being alone with their thoughts:
A research team led by University of Virginia psychologist Timothy Wilson reports that, in a series of studies, “participants typically did not enjoy spending 6 to 15 minutes in a room by themselves with nothing to do but think.”
What’s more, in the researchers’ most remarkable result, “many preferred to administer electronic shocks to themselves instead of being left alone with their thoughts.”
this is a phenomenon that i have a really hard time understanding. i generally feel like i don't have nearly enough time to be alone with my thoughts. (although, to be fair, if i spent as much time in my head as i *want* to, i might as well be a hermit, so it's probably just as well).
one of the things i've been kicking around in my head recently is the aphorism "perfection is the enemy of the good." i have ... a lot of perfectionist tendencies, to put it mildly. when something matters to me, i want it to be done well, or not at all. there are certain benefits that come from having a personality like this, for sure, and i'm not planning on actively trying to change that part of myself any time soon.
but of course it isn't
all good. some of the issues that come from perfectionist tendencies include:
- fear of failure
- avoidance of new experiences
- general frustration with oneself
- difficulty understanding and accepting grace
- not being satisfied with things that are good (because they aren't perfect)
my experience of learning to play guitar is like a microcosm of my perfectionist life, in a way. i want to be
good, and when i'm not as good as i want to be, i don't want to play at all. it's a stupid and self-defeating attitude, which i am aware of (and which ends up making me more frustrated with myself).
playing chords + strumming with a steady rhythm + singing is SO HARD for me, which makes me feel dumb because i've taught myself to read tabs and how to play some semi-complicated fingerpicking songs and i took like 14 years of piano lessons, i know how to multi-task, okay??? nevertheless, it is difficult, and it makes me frustrated and irritated and self-conscious.
so i've been thinking about that aphorism. "Don't let perfect be an enemy of the good." don't let the pursuit of some idealized perfect performance detract from the joy of what you can do
right now. i'm not perfect, not even close, but -- i
can play, at least a little, right now.
which is, like i said, a portrait of my life in miniature.
these are three clips of me practicing the Vance Joy song "From Afar," the first two times with the song playing in the background as a reference/guide for me, and the last time me by myself.
it's strange and slightly terrifying to put a recording of myself
singing out on the internet, but hey. i don't want to be afraid of failure, or new experiences. these aren't great recordings, but ... they're good enough.
which is how i want to approach living my life, despite my perfectionistic tendencies. just jumping in, because my best effort will have to be good enough.
