i've gotten to 100 posts in just under a year. i'm sort of surprised that i actually have people reading all the stuff i've written. for all of you who read my blog - thanks!
today i am thinking about grace. -- the beginning of this week has been pretty tough for me. i am working in another family camp hosted in sylvan, and i miss cabin camps and my last family camp. this week i am living in my staff housing instead of with the campers because sylvan is full. it is very strange. i really loved my last family camp and i miss them.
:( i've had a bad attitude for the past day or two and although i've tried to hide it from everyone else, i could tell that it was affecting my service to the guests here. so - i was talking with one of the counselors tonight about how i have a bad attitude and am just having an emotional blech moment, and she asked if she could pray for me for anything. I said: yeah, um, pray that i will have joy. in God. and i meant it, you know, it was actually something i wanted - but it was the Christian cliche speak that i had sworn off for the summer. it was real but with the taste and tang of fake.
so where does grace come in? it is that i just came back from the late night pool party where one of the girls who i've barely spent any time with told me that you're one of my four favorite counselors! this awesome little girl (i think she is about 9 years old, maybe) who isn't in my age group just rescued my night. showed me that God can work despite my attitude. reminded me that i should *have* a good attitude. helped me think of things without using that ridiculous Christian-language. ... mmm. second chances.
grace. second chances. this is what the kingdom of God is like.
like awesome long conversations with family campers who bless me while i'm trying to serve them
like me admitting that i fail, failed, will fail
like a night redeemed
like - prayer at the outdoor chapel in the midst of green trees
like counselors praying for each other, like us asking ("taking initiative!")
like loving without jealousy. no possesiveness, no comparisons.
like seeing people in a new way because the Uncreated One is in me and I am new I am a new creation
like finding a box of cheezits in the staff lounge with my name on them because one of my friends here heard me say two weeks ago that they are my favorite junk food :)
like writing a letter to a camper i care about and getting an email back. an honest email, one that is full out bruises and questions but ends with an i love you.
like facebookchat conversations with old friends from home that contain my new favorite line: yeah Jesus is like mmm good.
YES. yes yes yes. this is what the kingdom of God is like. mmm. mmm good. <3
edit//
P.S. Grandma - thanks for the postcard!!! :)
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
at the half-way point
this summer is going really fast. its crazy - i've already been here for five and a half weeks. its been really good. i've met lots of people who i already love dearly.
i don't even know how to begin talking about the things i have experienced so far. everything is so intense, because we are all running on little sleep and have barely left the camp for over a month. and there is so much to say! my days are so full: creek-stomps, lake games, hiking, making crafts, building bottle rockets, night games where counselors get kidnapped and goons are running around, giant shaving cream battles, slippy-slides, pool parties, silly songs, making friends, planning Bible studies, staff worship on Wednesday nights, laundromat on Fridays, rock wall climbing, kettle corn made over an open fire...
and my heart is so full: prayer and worship. awesome friends on staff. being blessed by campers. meeting God at the outdoor chapel. mmm.
this is what i read today, outside under the rain-wet trees while birds sang and the wind whispered.
I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live. The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came upon me; I was overcome by trouble and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the Lord: "O Lord, save me!" The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. The Lord protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, he saved me. Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. For you, O Lord, have delivered me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living. I believed even when I said, "I am greatly afflicted." And in my dismay I said, "All men are liars." How can I repay the Lord for all his goodness to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord. I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people. Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints. O Lord, truly I am your servant; I am your servant, your faithful son; you have freed me from my chains. I will sacrifice a thank offering to you and call on the name of the Lord. I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people, in the courts of the house of the Lord - in your midst, O Jerusalem. Praise the Lord. ---Psalm 116
It is really tiring to be here. I am exhausted. But my spirit is being refreshed and made new. And so I can say "Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you."
i don't even know how to begin talking about the things i have experienced so far. everything is so intense, because we are all running on little sleep and have barely left the camp for over a month. and there is so much to say! my days are so full: creek-stomps, lake games, hiking, making crafts, building bottle rockets, night games where counselors get kidnapped and goons are running around, giant shaving cream battles, slippy-slides, pool parties, silly songs, making friends, planning Bible studies, staff worship on Wednesday nights, laundromat on Fridays, rock wall climbing, kettle corn made over an open fire...
and my heart is so full: prayer and worship. awesome friends on staff. being blessed by campers. meeting God at the outdoor chapel. mmm.
this is what i read today, outside under the rain-wet trees while birds sang and the wind whispered.
I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live. The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came upon me; I was overcome by trouble and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the Lord: "O Lord, save me!" The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. The Lord protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, he saved me. Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. For you, O Lord, have delivered me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living. I believed even when I said, "I am greatly afflicted." And in my dismay I said, "All men are liars." How can I repay the Lord for all his goodness to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord. I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people. Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints. O Lord, truly I am your servant; I am your servant, your faithful son; you have freed me from my chains. I will sacrifice a thank offering to you and call on the name of the Lord. I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people, in the courts of the house of the Lord - in your midst, O Jerusalem. Praise the Lord. ---Psalm 116
It is really tiring to be here. I am exhausted. But my spirit is being refreshed and made new. And so I can say "Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you."
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