over the past few months i've heard no less than three of my close friends pause in a conversation about dating and say something like:
last weekend on our way back from harrisonburg, Meg & I were talking about the demographics of EMU and the rapidly falling % of students from an Anabaptist background. i was being a little bit alarmist but when i tried to admit that, Meg shook her head. "but i am alarmed," she said. "now i'm like, 'i have to be mennonite!'"
it's so difficult to explain mennonite-ness to people outside of this tiny community. i was looking up the numbers recently: in the US, there are 76 million catholics and some 150 million protestants of various denominations.
number of mennonites? 110,000, give or take a few thousand.
Meg and one of the girls in the apartment downstairs were listening to a TED talk about dating not too long ago, and she was telling me that this one computer-programmer lady had analyzed online dating sites and then written an algorithm to figure out how many compatible people she would be able to find in her city. it was some ridiculously low number, like five people in half a million, or something like that.
sometimes, living outside of the mennonite enclaves, i feel like there is no chance i will ever meet someone i'm compatible with.
"... but also part of me just really wants to date a mennonite."which is a little bit funny, because none of them were exactly raised as mennonites, and all have been or are currently in romantic relationships with non-mennonites. what is it about these mennonite boys, seriously... (someone suggested, once, that they've internalized enough messages about peace that they just seem nicer than your random american man. this may be true.)
last weekend on our way back from harrisonburg, Meg & I were talking about the demographics of EMU and the rapidly falling % of students from an Anabaptist background. i was being a little bit alarmist but when i tried to admit that, Meg shook her head. "but i am alarmed," she said. "now i'm like, 'i have to be mennonite!'"
~
it's so difficult to explain mennonite-ness to people outside of this tiny community. i was looking up the numbers recently: in the US, there are 76 million catholics and some 150 million protestants of various denominations.
number of mennonites? 110,000, give or take a few thousand.
Meg and one of the girls in the apartment downstairs were listening to a TED talk about dating not too long ago, and she was telling me that this one computer-programmer lady had analyzed online dating sites and then written an algorithm to figure out how many compatible people she would be able to find in her city. it was some ridiculously low number, like five people in half a million, or something like that.
sometimes, living outside of the mennonite enclaves, i feel like there is no chance i will ever meet someone i'm compatible with.
~
there are things that matter more to me than 'being mennonite,' but...
but: i would really love to be in a relationship where i don't have to explain rook, or dutch blitz, or the few vestiges of pennsylvania dutch that have made it into my vocabulary. where i don't have to explain the last names; the abundance of 'yoders,' 'swartzendrubers,' 'herrs,' 'hostetlers,' 'kreiders.' where i can use the acronyms -- MCC, EMM, MDS, EMU -- without spelling them out. where i can speak in shorthand that's easily understood, the quick reference to the conferences that people grew up in as explanation for their understanding of scripture or their political leanings, for example, or the meaning behind names like Dirk Willems. or John Ruth, even, the way i've seen his book in more houses than anyone could reasonably expect. Rudy Weibe. Julia Spicher Kasdorf. all the cultural connotations buzzing around each of these names.
it's more than just a specific way of being christian, is the thing (although i will be very surprised if i end up marrying a man who doesn't consider himself a pacifist). it's a small, specific culture that i belong to, and that i want to give to the generation that follows me: knowing the harmonies to the hymnals, the mennonite game, houses with a copy of the martyr's mirror stashed away somewhere, pork and sauerkraut on new year's day,
potlucks that vary in what food is present but not in how it feels to sit around the tables with a group of people who know you and your parents and your grandparents and quite possibly your second or third or fourth cousins. all the mennonite jokes. the cookbooks. dutch blitz tournaments with the youth group kids. church retreats where you might play a dozen games of rook in a row.
~
"so have you found a young man yet?" my grandpa asked me over christmas break.
"no," i laughed. "no, i don't have time for that." and that's true, for sure -- i don't have time to do all the things that i want to do on my own at the moment; it's impossible to imagine placing more demands on my time right now.
but also ... part of me just really wants to date a mennonite. so it might have to wait until i move, either back to the 'burg or to lancaster; back to my mennonite enclave. ;)
