my birthday!

today i woke up in beit sahour and realized that about 2000 years ago jesus was born within five miles of my house.

i have been trying to understand the significance of this all day - that i am celebrating my birthday in the land of jesus' birth. on this day i have seen bethlehem and jerusalem, where christ was born and where he died.

actually, this is something i have been thinking about throughout the past month or so, it just hit me in a new way today. ~ the importance of the incarnation in my faith. how important it is to me that i could have met God on the road to jerusalem, that he walked in the judean hills, that he knew the burn of muscles from hiking through wadi qelt, the scent of sweat rising from a group of people ... it is hard to explain, maybe, but basically being in this land that for some reason is important in a real, eternal, mysical, crazy way to the story of humanity and God and redemption and love and life - being here is making me love the incarnation. it makes me love that jesus had a body that probably ached at the end of long days (maybe he helped clear fields of rocks like I did at Tent of Nations; maybe he helped his father plant some grape vines like i did that day). i love that jesus lived in a place with thorns (i still have a few thorns in my hands from clearing the field of rocks) and that he didn't shy away from pain. i love that i can envision my savior with the dark hair and expressive eyes of the people who live here; that when i pass an arab man on the street i can think maybe jesus looked like that. i think this is why my faith is secure. because i have found this piece of a crazy, hard, strange religion that i love and that helps me understand the weird parts (like, for example, the old testament stories i blogged about last month).

anyway, today on my birthday, i was thinking about how jesus was born, just like me, and he was born in an actual place. and i am in that actual place. today i saw bethlehem and tonight i walked through jerusalem where he walked and where he died and - ahhhh it is just so, so crazy-good and startling and shocking and i-don't-know-what-to-say-about-it-awesome.

that was my birthday.

--
also on my birthday:
-a super huge and delicious breakfast on my last morning in beit sahour
-a happy birthday song on the bus as we left palestine and entered israel
-arriving at Jerusalem University College (JUC)
-exploring jerusalem
-a birthday party after supper which included:
*baklava and a cake-thingy with two candles
*another happy birthday song
*a gift from janet and linford - they have a tradition of giving students with birthdays on their cross-culturals a cross from the place they are in. so i got a cross to put on a necklace that is from jerusalem. :)
-skyping my parents
-gmail-chatting with thia

and now all that is left is getting a really good night's sleep: my birthday was completely awesome and will probably be one of my all-time best, but now i am totally exhausted. :) so, goodnight.

further information

i realized today that some of my readers might not know much or anything about the israeli occupation of palestine - so for those of you who are interested in learning about this issue (and/or want to talk to me about it when i get back) here are some resources for you:

1.) a documentary about the occupation. we watched this while living in beit sahour and it is available for free viewing. i highly recommend watching it to get an idea of injustices done to palestinians.
http://www.occupation101.com/multimedia.html

2.) the open letter to MCUSA congregations about Israel/Palestine.
http://www.mennoniteusa.org/Home/NationalOffices/Peace/HolyLand/Openletter/tabid/1156/Default.aspx

3.) a super awesome amazing book that i wish everyone would read before i come home... ;)
http://www.amazon.com/Lemon-Tree-Arab-Heart-Middle/dp/1596913436/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1298755253&sr=8-1

a psalm for palestine

this psalm has been in my thoughts a lot this week. the text is most of psalm 55.

My heart is in anguish within me;
   the terrors of death have fallen on me.
Fear and trembling have beset me;
   horror has overwhelmed me.
I said, “Oh, that I had the wings of a dove!
   I would fly away and be at rest.
I would flee far away
   and stay in the desert;
I would hurry to my place of shelter,
   far from the tempest and storm.”
 Lord, confuse the wicked, confound their words,
   for I see violence and strife in the city.
Day and night they prowl about on its walls;
   malice and abuse are within it.
Destructive forces are at work in the city;
   threats and lies never leave its streets.

If an enemy were insulting me,
   I could endure it;
if a foe were rising against me,
   I could hide.
But it is you, a man like myself,
   my companion, my close friend,
with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship
   at the house of God,
as we walked about
   among the worshipers.
 
 As for me, I call to God,
   and the LORD saves me.
Evening, morning and noon
   I cry out in distress,
   and he hears my voice.
Cast your cares on the LORD
   and he will sustain you;
he will never let
   the righteous be shaken.
   ... as for me, I trust in you.



-----

The other day we met before our morning lecture to process some of what we have seen and heard during our week in the West Bank. A lot of us are angry at the US and at the Israeli government for the unjust policies that are really negatively impacting normal Palestinian families. A lot of us are shocked at how the occupation works; at how the reality of life here doesn't match up with what we have heard on the news; a lot of us are reeling at the thought of leaving our families on sunday and entering Israel. We sort of feel like we are being thrown all around, having to make sense of it all. And it is very hard.

Linford said something that morning that I think is really wise, and something I want other people to hear. He said - we have been taught, in America, in our Christian faith, that if we are following God we will either not have problems, or we will be able to solve our problems.

He paused and let us think about that, and then said - neither of those ideas are true.

---

It hurts to think that, doesn't it? But it is true. The way to fix Israel/Palestine is to go back in time: back about 70 years would be a good start, but the crux of the matter is a lot further back. whenever it was that people first had a break in their relationship with God is the root of it all. what is the occupation, after all, besides selfishness, malice, lies (expressed on a large scale)? don't i suffer from the same soul sickness as the settlers? or - oh, here's a thought - don't i suffer from the same soul sickness as the suicide bombers?

---

I am a Christian. I follow the teachings of the Christ, the Messiah - Jesus. I love the world God created. Despite all of that, I must admit that there are problems in the world - there are problems in my life - and I can't fix them. Oh, that is hard ~

and look at the psalm. It says, "if an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it...but it is you, my close friend..." The psalm says that the situration is unendurable. And then it concludes I will trust in you.

My prayer as I leave Palestine is for faith to trust in the face of all these things.
Amen.

palestine

there is way too much to say about this place for one simple blog post; again i refer to linford's quote about the longer you stay in the middle east, the less you say.

it is that there are so many sides; that so many people make sense; that all these sensible things contradict each other; that there is pain; that the pain is caused by many people; that the US is so complicit in conflict here; that i love arabs, palestinians - and that this love is suspicious to a lot of people.

i wish that you could see what i've seen:

illegal israeli settlements
trash thrown at palestinians in hebron
a jewish settler saying he's been called a nazi
a video of a jewish settler calling a palestinian a nazi
lack of water
swimming pools in the settlements
piles of food in my host family's home
a refugee camp
a documentary about occupation
pictures of gaza
stories of civilians blown up by suicide bombers
a powerpoint ripping apart christian zionism theology
keffiyahs
synagogues with machine guns outside
mosques with machine guns outside
hasidic jews with ear curls
the palestinian flag
a map of the illegal settlements superimposed over the west bank
a video of rachel corrie when she was in 5th grade, giving a speech on ending poverty
a video of rachel corrie's parents after her death doing humanitarian work in gaza
a woman who has lost two pregnancies because she was beaten by extremist jewish settlers
a mosque and a church side by side in beit sahour
the shepherd's field in bethlehem
the lemon tree behind my family's house
broken hearts
traditional dances by my brother cezar
people waiting to reclaim their land
people waiting to claim land
the present power of love

beduins and a camel ride

i have crossed another item off my bucket list: riding a camel! riding a camel through the desert, no less!

on friday we arrived in wadi rum, a (admittedly touristy) beduin camp, where we proceeded to sit in the back of pickup trucks and wander through the desert. We were out for over two hours, watching the sun set and at times jumping out and running down dunes. it was beautiful.

so then we slept in the beduin camp and this morning i rode a camel! it was awesome.

other things that i've done since i've updated last: visited Petra, the Nabatean capital that is literally built in a canyon; eaten SO much food; accidentally lost an orange over a cliff; written in my journal by the light of the full moon; visited Jerash, the ruins of an ancient Roman city...

as you can maybe guess, i am starting to get very tired from all the events happening. and it is about to get even more intense - tomorrow morning we are leaving jordan and crossing into Israel, and immediately entering the West Bank. !!!!!!! which is (of course) Super Exciting And Maybe Slightly Terrifying [In A Good Way], but is also exhausting to think of, because i will be living with a family, trying to figure out their culture, trying to understand the ramifications of the occupation of Palestine; waking up early each morning for a day packed with political and religious lessons -

AND this sunday is my birthday! what?! i am about to leave my teenage years behind!!! haha.

well i guess that's all for now. you all can send me happy birthday thoughts on the 27th. :)

bible thoughts

tonight i lead devotions for our group - it was a short affair, involving me and my friend jamila alternating reading 8 short scripture passages i chose earlier in the day. i have been thinking a lot about the idea of new life because we have visited so many ruins that are 1. beautiful, 2. ancient, and 3. dead. so today (on my last day in damascus - sad, sad thing) i sat on a bench in the area that I've termed in my head "flatbread square" due to the flatbread store on the corner. i sat there and slowly meandered through my bible, picking out verses that fit with that theme.

one that i really like is isaiah 43:18-19.

“Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland."

i like this verse for a second reason: it reminds me to look ahead to what is coming rather than mourn what is over. there is a good chance that i will never return to damascus (although if i ever have the opportunity, believe me that i will definitely jump at it). it is really sad to think that i might never buy pomegranate juice outside the hamiddiyah souk again; that i've walked down straight street for the last time; that i will never have to sneakily avoid the scheming almond sellers or dodge a taxi in a narrow walled alley ever again. but: there are new things coming - nights spent in a beduin tent, a camel ride, walking the streets of Jerusalem, meeting a Christian family in the west bank (who i will celebrate my birthday with!).

there is a new thing coming, and it will be good - i believe that. i am on the way to perceiving it. :)

palmyra and aleppo

this weekend we traveled to aleppo and palmyra - saw a bunch of ruins, visited a few citadels, a castle, the souk in aleppo, the burial valley with tomb towers and underground tombs in palmyra... some pretty cool stuff. lots of pictures (how am i ever going to organize them?).

tomorrow is my last day in damascus. my goals are to get a falafel and a chocolate covered chocolate waffle. :)

right now i am in my friend joel's hotel room watching al-jazeera's coverage of egypt, tunisia, and yemen. it is so crazy to be in this part of the world right now! being here as unprecedented history is occuring. so cool. and i can envision it now - what the streets look like, how the people act when they are in their home, their mosque or their church. ooh, other interesting thing. al-jazeera's other breaking news was that the ex-president of pakistan (musharraf) has an arrest warrent out for him - apparently he requested the assassination of benazir bhutto (the former prime minister who was running for president). and guess what? there was significant US support for him too... i am starting to understand what linford said at the beginning of this trip:

'people who travel to the middle east for a week write a book. people who travel to the middle east for a month write some journal articles. people who live here have nothing to say.'

and he also said 'it is like a puzzle (fitting all the pieces of what people say and believe together). everyone has a point and a lot of them make sense - but they don't fit together! and what do you do with that? everyone has a point...'


i am feeling like i have no more words left in me to type; i think it is time for me to sleep.

leaving

marhaba! (hello!)

this seems completely unbelievable to me: tomorrow I am leaving st. elias for the last time. we head out from the monastery at 7:15 tomorrow morning for a weekend trip to Aleppo and Palmyra - we will return to Damascus on Saturday night and leave for Jordan monday morning. In between we are staying in a hotel.

i feel like i just arrived here. has it really been almost a month? a month of riding the bus to Arabic class, trips to Lebanon, Bosra, Mar Musa, amazing food (shwarma! falafel! pomegranate juice!), friendly faces, exploring, visiting churches, visiting mosques...

i guess i should do a somewhat more thorough update ~ i have no idea what my access to internet will be like after i leave this place. so. where to start.

on monday we went on a field trip with our Arabic teachers from Berlitz. first we went to a monastery called Mar Musa. it is hidden up on a mountain: 350 steps to reach the old monastery (the new, actually inhabited one is further up). we were priveleged to meet with several interesting people while we were there. first we spoke with a spaniard named Luis who is in the beginning process of becoming a monk. he spoke of his vocation as a call to overcome hatred with love; his deep desire is to bring Christians and Muslims into real dialogue, to help create safe space to do that. After Luis told us about some of the history of the monastery (which was so, so cool - there were murals on the walls dating back to the 1100s) he said he would go see if Father Pauli would be able to come speak with us. Luckily he wasn't too busy to meet with us, and we got to spend probably an hour listening to him talk about theology, what it means to be a Christian in the Middle East, mysticism, peace-building...lots of stuff about Jesus. Linford said it was like a seminary class. :) I've decided after some books I've read recently and after meeting with this priest that I would really like to learn more about the Jesuit tradition. One thing that Father Pauli said at the very beginning of his 'lecture' that I found interesting was something about how he bears on his shoulders the weight of his church's long centuries... he said "i can see in your faces you feel more free." We were also treated to Syrian hospitality - they gave us pita and the most delicious goat cheese I have ever eaten, as well as apricot jam, olives, and hot tea. mmm.

anyway, i took copious notes as he was talking and have lots of thinky-thoughts rattling around in my head, so anyone who wants to know more can talk to me when i get home.

after leaving mar musa we headed to a village that is almost entirely Christian - it's claim to fame is that the people there speak Aramaic. The village was called Maalula and it is one of the very few places in Syria that Aramaic is spoken fluently, as the people's mother tongue. 

---
what else? i'm done with arabic studies and passed the class, hamdullah (praise God). yesterday i started to pack up all my stuff that somehow got spread all around my room ... I still have space in my backpack, so I guess I haven't bought too much stuff - but I have so many things! it is so hard to keep track of. oh wait! my shampoo! and the keychain I bought in Lebanon! and the notebook under my bed! and my earrings on the bathroom counter! argh.

on sunday i went to the Armenian orthodox church. the service was beautiful but confusing (also there was way, way too much incense. that stuff gives me a headache). I went with Joel and we arrived at 10:00. One interesting thing I noticed about the syrian orthodox church two weeks ago that held true today is that people keep coming in until about 11:00. And apparently it isn't rude or considered disruptive... When we arrived there were only a handfull of people in the church, mostly a few old men in suits and a woman and her daughter. By 11:30 the church was packed and there were people standing in the back. What made me think of that is this: about 10:15 when there were still only a few people in the church, the boys shaking incense and two priests (I guess) started walking around the edge of the church. one held a small metal cross and when they passed people in the church, the people in the pews would kiss the cross - and then cross themselves. When it got to us we kissed it and forgot to cross ourselves after; I was so embarrassed and was starkly reminded how difficult it is to really understand and infiltrate other people's culture. other interesting thing: at the beginning of the church service there was a man wearing army fatigues and combat boots standing in the back. I was actually wondering if he was there as a church member or as a sort of threatening 'peace-keeper' at first; he sort of just stood there even though there were lots of empty pews. Then I saw him cross himself and before long he slipped out the back door.

today we took a brief tour through two mosques. the tour was given by the same guide who showed us the different churches last week. one of the most interesting things was seeing the pilgrims from Iran and Iraq. One of the mosques in Damascus (the Umayyad mosque) is one of the four most important mosques in the world. I believe the order is Mecca, Medina, Dome of the Rock, and then the Umayyad. This mosque here is important to Shia muslims because one of the men important to the founding of the Shia sect of Islam was beheaded and his head displayed at this mosque. So, a lot of pilgrims from (predominately Shia) Iran and Iraq come to the Umayyad. They travel in large groups and the women are usually either wearing all black with only their eyes exposed, or in the complete veil - no skin shown at all, with a thin black silk piece thown over the eyes.


I can't really think of anything else worth writing right now...whenever I am able, I will contine to post blog updates, but remember that they will probably be less frequent from here through the end of the trip.

churches

today our cross-cultural group visited three churches off of Straight Street in the Old City of Damascus. One was Greek Orthodox, one was Armenian Orthodox, and one was Greek Catholic. In the Greek Orthodox church we were able to speak with a priest and in the Armenian Orthodox we heard from the Bishop of the Damascus diocese.

it is so interesting to begin to realize the ways of knowing God that I haven't learned about and don't understand. my Mennonite background has done little to help me understand God through mediums such as icons and grand architecture. and yet as the priest and bishop spoke it was clear that for many people these symbols hold deep significance...

i am learning a lot about Christianity from being here; realizing the role Syria played in the Christian story - even from before Jesus' birth. One of the oddest and most complicated thing about being here is that I am an American Christian. By this I mean: as an American I am, in the eyes of many people in the Middle East, at best meddling in things I have no right to, and at worst directly opposed to the interests of people living here. While I have been told and have witnessed that Syrian people are very good at separating people from their government, I still feel like I am lumped into a category of people that I don't necessarily want to be a part of. [Side note: see below] At the same time, I am a Christian who is part of an international family - one with no borders, no boundaries. I belong in the Syrian Orthodox church, I can pray with the Armenians...

[side note] to quote my Arabic teacher, the support the US government has given to Egypt's Hosni Mubarak is the type of thing that "makes the Arab world fume." many of the democracy minded people living in the Middle East hear western countries (namely the US with our 'war on terror') promoting democracy and seeking to develop democracy in the Middle Eastern countries, while simultaneously supporting rulers like Mubarak with billions of dollars. soooo maybe that makes it clear why I am reluctant to be identified as American here.

interesting factoid of the day: the armenian orthodox church does not have crucifixes, because they say that Jesus on the cross is only the beginning. All of their crosses are empty. In the words of the Armenian bishop, their focus on the resurrection is "perhaps the reason [we] survived the genocide."
^for those of you that don't know, Armenians were heavily persecuted (under the ottoman empire? i'm not sure) and, while the numbers are disputed, up to a million or more may have died around 1915.

wahid, tnein, tlati...yalla!

or 1, 2, 3...let's go!

that's how i feel right now...we are always running off to the next thing. and really, this part of the trip is going to be the most restful out of all of them. it is tiring just thinking about it.

today I visited the modern downtown shopping mall. we had an assignment to explore the mall and compare it to the Old City souk. I got subway and a donut for lunch. :) crazy, right? I bought my brother a cool gift - I can't wait to give it to him!!!! haha.

yesterday our group was privileged to meet a Bishop in the Syrian Orthodox church. Amazingly enough, he has been to EMU before! In 2002 he attended EMU's summer peacebuilding institute. We enjoyed hearing his perspective on what it means to be a Christian in the middle east, what peace means, and how all Christians share the same faith. The Syrian Orthodox church is active in the world ecumenical movement, which I think is pretty cool.
and guess what? we might get to meet the Patriarch of the Syrian Orthodox! he is sort of like how the pope is to the Catholic church. so that's pretty exciting. There is a couple here who work for MCC and they do most of their work alongside the Syrian Orthodox; apparently a good working relationship between the two groups has developed here.
I've been reading a lot of interesting books. For those of you interested in what I'm reading, so far I have almost finished The Brothers K, am halfway through Everything is Illuminated, have just started The Time Traveler's Wife, and am contemplating beginning Jesus among other Gods.

I think I will finish this post by remarking on some small parts of Syrian life that don't really deserve their own post:
-there are cats everywhere
-only men ride bikes
-taxis honk when they are empty at pedestrians to see if you want a ride
-baklava is SOOOOOO good
-there are bakeries that sell these awesome chocolate ball things (about the size of a clenched fist) for between 5 and 35L (between around 5-50 cents)
-there are juice stands throughout the old city and on the walk from the monastery to the old city that have bags of oranges hanging from the ceiling. if you want juice, you go ask them and they grab an orange or two from the bag, peel them, and juice them in front of you.
-used toilet paper is thrown in trashcans, not flushed...the plumbing here is quite delicate ;)
-the best conversations always happen over food

and i think that's all for now. Salaam!