eep.

someone please tell my why i ever thought 18 credits + work study + sitting in on a class = good idea.

i am drowning in work. x_x

pictures are worth a thousand words...

so how many pictures would i have to put up to do this stack of books justice?

These are the books i am in the midst of reading at the present moment. For fun, not for class.

request

i have entered a contest for a $5,000 scholarship. i had to make a video about why i think God is good. the contest runs until April 15, and the winner is based on votes. people can cast one vote a day, every day. so...vote for me! recruit your email address book to vote for me! :)

here is the link:

memelabs.com/godornot

my video is the one by wiseowl. it is under "recent videos."

come on guys!!! help me out!

vulnerability

every time i go home i am reminded that there are actually people reading my blog. it is easy when i haven't been in lancaster for two months to feel like i am writing to an empty internet (this is what happens when i don't get feedback, people!) and then when i am reminded, i edit myself much more severely. its like i can only be vulnerable when i can get myself to believe that there is no one around to witness it. why are we (am i) so fearful of vulnerability? why do we (do i) try to hide thoughts and emotions and real life?


today i got to talk with a beautiful friend about my break and about life and questions we have and ... lots of things. one little piece of our conversation stuck with me and i journaled (on paper) about it.

currently musing on: PARADOX. and 'either/or' vs. 'both/and'

By this I mean:

body/spirit
understanding/confusion
spirituality/intellectualism
tradition/change
son of God/son of Man
beautiful/ugly
idealism/pragmatism
good works/grace
evangelical/Mennonite
natural/supernatural
orthodoxy/orthopraxy
scary/secure
pain/love
trust/fear
liberal/conservative
understanding/confusion
belief/pluralism
God's foreknowledge/human free will
gospel (whatever that means)/"social gospel" (whatever that means)
questions/strengthening your faith
being/becoming
creativity and creation/'there is nothing new under the sun'
tension/peace

why do we think EITHER/OR?
If we believe in a theology of enough, isn't there room for both? Enough space for both/and.

What a beautiful and ugly, scary and secure, tension-full and peaceful idea.
Space for both, and.
Yes.

A lot of life is about figuring out how to navigate tensions between two ideas that feel very polar to each other. The funny thing is, both poles are necessary to be healthy. It is really difficult to find that spot where you are receptive to both. To steal a line from one of my favorite quotes, it is "treading the narrow edge of unrelieved intellectual tension." It's hard. But - it is worth it, I think. Receptivity to both poles allows for encounter. It allows humans to encounter other people and to encounter God in places we don't plan for and don't expect. In my opinion, that is worth the struggle.

It's good to be home.

this semester has gone so fast...and i feel like i've barely written on my blog at all. with the prompting of some family members *cough*Neil*cough* I've decided to take this time to reflect over the first half of my spring semester.

-skiing! fun fun fun. i fell alot. man, i am such a bad skier. but that weekend was a great birthday gift.

-i got to eat at taste of thai for my birthday with my grandparents and rinn.

-Chelsea came to visit me. :) it was marvelous.

-Thia made me coffeecake muffins for my birthday breakfast.

-my life is full of funny moments: pancake parties, snowfootball watching from 3rd-floor-seats, princess parties....Thia making a way-too-big hat...

-i love the mountains east of EMU. They look different every day. sometimes they are so clear and look like cardboard cutouts against the sky. other days you literally wouldn't know they were there just by looking, its that foggy.

-The philosophy class i am sitting in on is so excellent!

-I got to eat supper with my great aunt and uncle Helen and Wilbur, and with Wilbur's brother and sister-in-law. It was probably one of the best things that happened to me during the school year. Why? We talked about what our favorite childhood books are. And how they influenced us. Seriously awesome.

-I continued to add to my nest. Collaging!!!

-I saw a really sad movie (Brothers). Don't watch it unless you are prepared for the sad.

-My dad is playing guitar right now.

-Oh, oh!!!! I know the entire Arabic alphabet. And I have a song like the english ABC's:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VN0we7FWL1s

-I really like sleeping. I think spring break is spoiling me... :P

-I am probably going to work at Camp Hebron this summer! Which is like my ultimate dream so I'm really excited. I can't imagine getting PAID to work there. Life is good.

-Derek is disappointed that I am not typing in arabic. Sadly, I don't know a lot of words yet. I will share one I do know:

جميلة - Jamila (Jameela). It means "Beautiful."

Here is a video of Snowfootball...ignore the audio. I just remembered that one time when it snowed Common Grounds (the coffee shop) sent out an email saying "make some snowmennos!" and "practice snow conflict resolution" - by which of course they meant "engage in some snowball fights!"