i never thought i'd say this

...but i can't wait for this school year to be over.

i am so tired.



i'm tired of the same seven classes. the same work study. waking up for an 8AM three times a week.

i'm tired of staying up super late to finish my intro to theology papers. i'm tired of studying for *so long* and only getting a B on my stats exam.

i'm tired of feeling like i have to choose between friends, family, God, school, work, and sleep.

i'm ... tired. as in, physically tired.

i'm tired of being tired. (i should not have done so much this semester. except that every semester for the rest of my academic life is going to be just as bad, so i shouldn't complain).





i just want to be at Camp Hebron. swimming in the lake, tipping campers out of their kayaks, singing the Banana King song, hiking up Peter's Mountain. banana boats. vespers and singing and sleeping under the stars. walking up the giant hill to Breezewood, going on trail rides, singing the theme song 200 times by the end of the summer. getting sunburnt and bug-bitten. swallowing pool water. remembering the good in the world.




i sort of just want to feel like a kid again. relive a time before i knew of dreadful things and haunting questions and stories that keep you awake at night with horror. there is good in the world - i believe this. today i noticed that the leaves of redbud trees are shaped like hearts. in a world with heart-shaped leaves, morning mist, beautiful music, summer camps, gardens - there must be something good. There must be Good.