don't forget...

Pennies due tomorrow! So far I only have (written) responses from Thia and my mom!

ugh.

it doesn't seem to matter if I work really hard with incredible focus or not. the first rule of college life is that you will be up later than you expect, all the time.

I discovered how to say what I wanted to over break but at the time did not have words:

Lucas makes me feel like Christianity is not a children's story.


Do I make any of you stay up late pondering? Because I feel like some other people out there should be undergoing some of the same mental anguish as me. :P

Oh! I forgot!

I originally wanted to post on my blog to just let you all know how happy I am that you are reading what I write! :) That makes me so excited! It gives me motivation to write more.

P.S. Don't forget about your assignment. It is due on Sunday.

THIS is the true definition of "word-vomit."

uhhhh. fall break was not long enough. not at all. :(

being in lancaster made me think of all these things that speak of *home* to me...my room, passing horse-and-buggies, playing take-one, spades, food!, cousins, being snarky with my brother, sitting on the counter by the dishwasher and talking to my dad, being late or almost late to church, Frazz...

today if you asked me how i would define myself, my answer would be "lacking cohesiveness." i have no ability to string my thoughts together in one straight logical line. it's frustrating to be sure; i feel like i have lost control of my brain.

1.) in the bathroom we have these sheets of paper that ask a random question, like "What characteristics do you look for in a guy?" and "What brings you joy?" We rotate them all the time so there is always something new. The last one was "What brings you joy?" and I said grammatically correct science handouts. It's true. I get SO mad when there are too many commas! Or spelling errors! Or not enough commas!

I mean...if you even knew how many times I have gone back and edited this blog after I posted something...

2.) When I got back from fall break I was opening the door from the stairwell onto 3rd East when I heard "Is that Emily Harnish?" As I said "yes!" with my foot kicking the door open (my arms were full of my junk) I heard a (loud) yell and then people (Tessa and Thia) were mobbing me. And everyone was laughing. I finally got disentangled and realized half of my hall plus Jon and Zach were sitting in the hall waiting to welcome the stragglers as they finally arrived at EMU. :) Best welcome of my life.

3.) My African violet is blooming!

4.) Jordan Landis randomly contacted me today to ask how college is going...made me think, because I was like - how can i summarize EMU in a short enough paragraph to put on facebook? I found out he had swine flu, which made me think about people struggling with infectious disease all over the world. If you guys think about it pray for people who don't have access to good health care.

5.) Earlier I put up a draft of a post. I finally feel the need to expand on that.
So...
a.) Meg was talking about how we don't really live like hell is a real place. Meditate on that for a while.
b.) Alice - is awesome! hmm...Meg and Alice were in Thia and my room last week and we were talking about lots of things. One of them was churches in Egypt. Alice says that Coptic and Orthodox churches have a really good grasp on the holiness and glory of God. They don't dumb him down, in her words. And they realize that life isn't about us.
You know what a really interesting thing to do is? Think about how your religion came to be. First Christianity, then Protestantism, then Anabaptism. I have been musing on the theology of the Trinity recently, as well as the concept of hell. And if every word in the Bible is to be taken literally - and if it is not, then how should it be interpreted? In World Religions we have briefly talked about how different religions focus on orthodoxy (right belief) vs. orthopraxy (right action), and I have come to the conclusion that 1.) I'm glad I belong to a faith tradition within Christianity that focuses on servanthood and 2.) I think I need to study church history. I want to know about what was decided at different church councils in the 4th century, etc etc.
Also...I REALLY hope that I get into the cross-cultural to the Middle East next year. :/ Really, really, really...
c.) somewhere I heard God referred to as "the uncreated one." Isn't that a sweet description?
d.) Sometimes the Mennonite world feels too small. There is a certain professor that my friend has who is *scary* and she happens to have a facebook, and TWO of my relatives are her facebook friend! :O
That is so wrong.

AND, in a shout-out to Jess and Chad: Its also weird that you know Peter Dula. And that you call him Pete. My transitions teacher also does that...I guess that is what he went by in school, but it feels very odd seeing as how all of the students on campus call him by his full first name, and when they are referring to him in conversation, they often also use his last. It is sort of like he is a legend and we are all fangirls or something...I can't even count the number of times someone has heard I'm in World Religions and said "Is that a Peter Dula class?"

Anyway.

e.) I'm running out of motivation to finish "word-vomiting" my thoughts...I still have lots to do tonight. And Andrea will be here tomorrow!!!!!!! :D
So this will be my reminder to finish talking about the metaphor in my next post.

~~~~~~

I guess that's all. hah. That makes me think of watching looney tunes with my brother and porkey pig saying "th-th-th-that's all, folks!" ;)

I'm HOME!

Let's take a moment to glory in that fact, folks! AH.

Do you know how much I love this house and the people in it? :) :) :)

So. (Annie Dillard! Yay! Please read Living like Weasels!). I already got to have good conversation with my dad. I told him that I feel like I can word-vomit to him and he helps me clean it up. Which, you know, possibly not the prettiest word picture but probably one of the most complimentary ones I could give. You all know how much I love words; and if there is one thing I love more than just-words it is words-that-obey-me-and-mean-what-I-want.

And now I feel I must clarify a previous post, for my father's wisdom has pointed out that there is both faulty logic and emphasis on wrong words...horror of horrors.

I said, quoting a friend of a friend in a previous post, "We are democrats cause the church sucks so much." In talking about this with my Dad, I said that I think people possibly have values espoused by the Republican party but they think that the Democrats DO things that line up with their values, or something like that. To which my Dad said, "maybe Republicans are trying to teach the value of self-reliance/self-sustenance."

Yeah, I don't really have much to say to this. Cause he also pointed out that Republicans do deeds of compassion but possibly in secret? or something radical like that? Right.

So now I need to clarify this statement because it will be interpreted wrongly if the emphasis is placed on the word Democrat.

My clarification of what I meant to point out by quoting Meg's friend is this:
Please read that statement understanding the mindset of the speaker. Many young people feel disillusioned by church and feel like if church/God/religion is going to be meaningful at ALL, then the people belonging to said church/God/religion need to show compassion. We need to have actions that back up what we say. And I think a lot of people - my experience is young people, but maybe it is all people, i don't know - feel like churches contain lots of people who say really beautiful things but have a faith that if it was a flavor would taste like artificial grape. As in: really fake.

This entry on my blog is to say that I don't think Christians need to be conservative or liberal, Democrat or Republican, wealthy or poor, old or young...I am trying really hard to get past the labels I am so used to sticking on people. What I wanted to get across, and STRONGLY, is that if church is to be vital, it must be full of people who will show compassion at every turn. We need to see the pain of the world.

And - we need to make our faith have the tenor, timbre, taste of the real.


See how wise my daddy is? :)
Oh, there's no place like home.

The mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings.

I am despairing of ever learning to think well. Or of knowing how to think; as a philosopher, as a theologian, as a scientist, as a woman - to what should I aspire? Because what and/or who we define ourselves as determines to some extent how we think, right? [Is this right? tell me!]

Occasionally I am able to fool myself into thinking that I am quite knowlegable...I imagine that [for my age, of course] I am well read; I imagine I think logically with a high degree of insight. Then something happens that strips away my pride and reminds me that in a most basic and deep way, I know just about nothing.

Sadly, I am not going to get to take a lot of pondering-intensive classes til my senior year here, but someday I'm going to take Intro to Philosophy. I am. I am.

In the meantime, here is some excellent writing to ponder:

"'You have been given questions to which you cannot be given answers. You will have to live them out - perhaps a little at a time.'
'And how long is that going to take?'
'I don't know. As long as you live, perhaps.'
'That could be a long time.'
'I will tell you a further mystery,' he said. 'It may take longer.'"

— Wendell Berry (Jayber Crow)

An assignment for my faithful readers...

the day that i took those pictures i put on my blog, i posted pictures on my facebook with this discription:

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars."

i don't know where i found that quote but i love it. and so thia and i have been thinking about how we can be mad for life. here is how i was mad for life today: i skipped bio.

super irresponsible, right? i suppose anything i say in defense of this will sound like a spoiled teen justifying her way out of work. but hear me out -

instead of sitting through a class of stuff i learned in high school [i can do the Hardy-Weinburg calcs in my sleep], i took Pilgrim at Tinker Creek to the second floor of the campus center and read while i overlooked the Shenandoah valley. it was gorgeous. my soul feasted on beauty, and in Annie Dillard's words, "I am still spending the power." today was my own small search for the tree with lights in it...today was learning how to see, and in seeing, learning to love.

Read these words and speak your soul alive.
"It is still the first week in January, and I've got great plans. I've been thinking about seeing. There are lots of things to see, unwrapped gifts and free surprises. The world is fairly studded and strewn with pennies cast broadside from a generous hand. But - and this is the point - who gets excited by a mere penny? If you follow one arrow, if you crouch motionless on a bank to watch a tremulous ripple thrill on the water and are rewarded by the sight of a muskrat kit paddling from its den, will you count that sight a chip of copper only, and go on your rueful way? It is dire poverty indeed when a man is so malnourished and fatigued that he won't stoop to pick up a penny. But if you cultivate a healthy poverty and simplicity, so that finding a penny will literally make your day, then, since the world is in fact planted in pennies, you have with your poverty bought a lifetime of days. It is that simple. What you see is what you get."

So, students, here is your assignment for today: find a metaphorical penny and tell me about it. Due date Nov. 1
:) Have fun!