I realized today while I was eating lunch that this is the first time in 18 years that I'm not 'going back to school.'
I'm still trying to figure out how to define myself outside of the system that for years, for all of my conscious life has fed me gold stars in exchange for high test scores and a raised hand in class.
My current internal monologue is something like well then, kiddo, what does it actually mean to be successful, huh?
And, actually, I don't know, because my measuring stick is gone; because the measuring stick of the world I'm working in seems kind of strange, kind of warped; because I am still learning, even if I'm not in school.
Today I think success looks like remembering to write a postcard blessing for a friend's new apartment, like having the dishes done by 7:30, like having homemade granola for dessert. I'm not sure, yet, what I'll think success looks like tomorrow, but...one day at a time.
I'm still trying to figure out how to define myself outside of the system that for years, for all of my conscious life has fed me gold stars in exchange for high test scores and a raised hand in class.
My current internal monologue is something like well then, kiddo, what does it actually mean to be successful, huh?
And, actually, I don't know, because my measuring stick is gone; because the measuring stick of the world I'm working in seems kind of strange, kind of warped; because I am still learning, even if I'm not in school.
Today I think success looks like remembering to write a postcard blessing for a friend's new apartment, like having the dishes done by 7:30, like having homemade granola for dessert. I'm not sure, yet, what I'll think success looks like tomorrow, but...one day at a time.
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