100th post!

i've gotten to 100 posts in just under a year. i'm sort of surprised that i actually have people reading all the stuff i've written. for all of you who read my blog - thanks!

today i am thinking about grace. -- the beginning of this week has been pretty tough for me. i am working in another family camp hosted in sylvan, and i miss cabin camps and my last family camp. this week i am living in my staff housing instead of with the campers because sylvan is full. it is very strange. i really loved my last family camp and i miss them.
:( i've had a bad attitude for the past day or two and although i've tried to hide it from everyone else, i could tell that it was affecting my service to the guests here. so - i was talking with one of the counselors tonight about how i have a bad attitude and am just having an emotional blech moment, and she asked if she could pray for me for anything. I said: yeah, um, pray that i will have joy. in God. and i meant it, you know, it was actually something i wanted - but it was the Christian cliche speak that i had sworn off for the summer. it was real but with the taste and tang of fake.

so where does grace come in? it is that i just came back from the late night pool party where one of the girls who i've barely spent any time with told me that you're one of my four favorite counselors! this awesome little girl (i think she is about 9 years old, maybe) who isn't in my age group just rescued my night. showed me that God can work despite my attitude. reminded me that i should *have* a good attitude. helped me think of things without using that ridiculous Christian-language. ... mmm. second chances.

grace. second chances. this is what the kingdom of God is like.

like awesome long conversations with family campers who bless me while i'm trying to serve them
like me admitting that i fail, failed, will fail
like a night redeemed
like - prayer at the outdoor chapel in the midst of green trees
like counselors praying for each other, like us asking ("taking initiative!")
like loving without jealousy. no possesiveness, no comparisons.
like seeing people in a new way because the Uncreated One is in me and I am new I am a new creation
like finding a box of cheezits in the staff lounge with my name on them because one of my friends here heard me say two weeks ago that they are my favorite junk food :)
like writing a letter to a camper i care about and getting an email back. an honest email, one that is full out bruises and questions but ends with an i love you.
like facebookchat conversations with old friends from home that contain my new favorite line: yeah Jesus is like mmm good.

YES. yes yes yes. this is what the kingdom of God is like. mmm. mmm good. <3

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P.S. Grandma - thanks for the postcard!!! :)