Welcome to America

today in the lab, I was asked to a Superbowl party. one Chinese member of the lab asked about whether or not I usually watch the Superbowl. "All Americans watch the Superbowl," I said, grinning. "The commercials are also important."

The Housemate just told me that at one point today, while I was not in the main lab area, the host of the upcoming party was telling other members of the lab about the Superbowl and inviting people to the party. Questions that she overheard:

"Who's playing this year?"
"What's the name of the Seattle team?" (His answer: I'm...not actually sure...)
"Do people usually do this [have a party around the game]?"

The Housemate noted that this party will probably be more about hanging out than about actually following the game. She followed this up by saying, "I guess that happens other times, though."

We also learned that in China, football is called "Oliveball." The things I never knew...

a day in the lab

The Housemate: IT WORKED!
Me: You're getting pretty jazzy about that PCR product. [claps somewhat sarcastically]
The Housemate: It deserves claps.
Me: ...I can't believe I said that about a PCR product.
The Housemate: What, getting jazzy?
Me: Yeah!
The Housemate: Well, I'm excited.


Me: Yeah, UV radiation can cause eye cancer. Probably we're increasing our probability.
The Housemate: You increase your chance for all kinds of things every day. Like, we increase our risk of car wrecks every time we travel. ...We increase our risk of bus wrecks-
Me: [interrupting] -because we ride the bus?
The Housemate: Yeah.
Me: Well, we'd probably be safer in a bus wreck (than a car wreck) anyway.
The Housemate: Yeah, that's true.


Me: [pacing]
The Housemate: Haven't you ever heard the phrase, "A watched pot never boils?"
Me: Yeah, and I've also heard the phrase "A watched plasmid never melts."

sometimes I think about what my conversations would sound like from the outside

and I just have to laugh.

a conversation about toxins

Lab member #1: You couldn't get rich selling toxins.

Lab member #2: But they're so expensive!

Lab member #3: It's too small of a market.

Lab member #1: Yeah, too small of a market.

Me: If anyone was listening in on this conversation, they'd probably think we're a bunch of incompetent assassins.

a conversation about American English:

Lab member #1: The thing I don't understand is plurals.

Lab member #2: You don't have them in Chinese, right?

Lab member #1: Yeah. English is weird. Like, if you have half of a hotdog, you say, "0.5 hotdogs." But it's less than one!

Lab member #3: ...huh, I guess that's right. So in Chinese you'd say -

Lab member #1: Two hotdog, three hotdog, 0.5 hotdog!

a conversation about American TV shows:

Lab member #1: Cat and Mouse! Cat and Mouse!

Lab member #4: [blank look]

Lab member #1: Ah, the TV show, with the cat and mouse. What's his name. Tom and - Jerry?

Lab member #2: Yeah, yeah.

Lab member #3: Are the Simpsons big in China?
Lab member #1: ...yeah, yeah I think. But not as much as Cat and Mouse. Ah, Tom and Jerry. But in China we say Cat and Mouse.

a conversation about Americans and their drugs

Lab member #1: Do most Americans smoke marijuana? Did you smoke marijuana?

Me: ...No?

Lab member #1: Really? [looks shocked]

a conversation about gmail chat:

The Housemate: I can see you.

Me: No you can’t, I’m invisible.  

The Housemate: Wait. I thought you could still see invisible people.

 Me: ...I'm very curious about how you did that. [sent a message to me while I was invisible]

The Housemate: I just know because I talk to J when we’re both invisible.

a generic, daily conversation:

Me: whoa, this news article says that a US district judge just wrote that the NSA’s surveillance program is likely unconstitutional.

The Housemate: I’m going to go stretch out my shrunken sweater in cold water. 

Me: ... okay?

The Housemate: What practical knowledge have you gleaned?

Me:... None.

another generic conversation:

The Housemate: Why are you writing that down? That isn’t funny, it’s practical.

Me: It's still funny.

The Housemate: Well. I decided that this year is my year of gaining practical skills, so if this works, I'll have gained the practical skill of stretching out a shrunken sweater.

Me: I thought you were going to say, 'Gain the practical skill of starring on someone else's blog.'

the first snow

 the housemate ran a 10K today in the snow. "you are intense," i said, and then i sat and waited in the car with a DFW book. i did make her a sign, though. (i'm not totally useless).

now it's time to do some christmas decorations around the apartment. :)

a sort of fall-cleaning

I spent an hour today organizing the bookmarks folder on my laptop. A smattering of what I re-discovered:

on fitzgerald
a beautiful blog
raymond carver
on missions
a feminist analysis of rand paul
exposing sexism
gluten-free chocolate cake
syrian civil war reaches maaloula
congress is actually getting dumber
why we should support basic science research
on arguing
the case against high school sports
kim jong-il's sushi chef
a nuanced view of GM food
on systemic evil
on mountain top removal
on racism
why I love wendell berry
DFW breaks my heart
I had this guy as a professor
NSA pickup lines
how to create a letter postage scale
llama font
how a sewing machine works
the frog that didn't quite make it into space


The Housemate & I were talking recently about missing our Friday Night Dinner conversations from the past two years. That dinner group lead to so many interesting thoughts and conversations. But I said something about how my internal life has still been feeling really interesting to me, recently...I think it is possible to cultivate interesting thoughts just by being curious in all kinds of things. Like, for instance, the above links.

i need a more catchy phrase for 'petty grievances'

since graduation in April, classmates of mine have dealt with:

moving to a different continent and eating cow lung (as a vegetarian)

beginning work as a first-year teacher and having their house egged by a student

beginning work as a first-year teacher and having (high school) students who can barely read

not being able to find work

having manipulative bosses

long-distance relationships

my complaint today sounds really dumb in comparison, but here goes:

I'm kinda sad about how I can't complain about work to anyone but The Housemate. Not because I don't have great family & friends who listen to me talk about anything (even when I'm whining), but because no one will understand what I'm saying. 

Fluid dynamics is screwing up my life, you guys. AHHHH. I just about had a meltdown today at 4:00 pm when I realized the stupid suction tube on my setup was positioned wrong and was destroying my gigaohm seals. I was like, "Argh! That explains everything about this day and why nothing is working!!!" 

The Housemate happened to walk into my little closet right then and she looked at the computer screen and said, "Um, what's going on there?!" 

And I said, "I just figured out something terrible. The suction tube is sucking my cells off the pipette!"

And she said, "You didn't notice?"

On the one hand: yay, you know why I'm upset! On the other: Nope. That's why I feel dumb.

Then I realized that even if I wanted to, I couldn't call anyone and complain to them because the whole exchange would be utterly incomprehensible. 

Basically, my life is ruled by the flow of saltwater, which is surprisingly tricky to control. Between the RSC and the suction tube...woe is me. :/


On the bright side, a little retail therapy:

Buying boots felt a little like an entrance into adulthood. (Read: a paying job. Hah.)

some pictures of my life

butternut squash for a pre-thanksgiving thanksgiving party

 mmmm

but a surprising amount of work (ow, my sore hands)

recent-ish pictures of the trees near my apartment (they are a bit more fall-colored now)

I need to figure out what this kind is, it's my favorite. well, favorite after silver maples and willows and american sycamores and whatever the tree is on discipleship hill that I used to write in. and maybe dogwoods in spring.

the Halloween event in D.C. that The Housemate and I went to on Tuesday. (we observed the festivities from on top of a dumpster).

"Help," I said, "I feel like I'm on the verge of very messy."

But The Housemate rescued her own cake from the jaws of disaster (or splattering over the stove top, whichever), and here's the finished product:

A brief silence for eating cake, and then: "I think I like other people's birthdays almost as much as mine," I said.

The Housemate laughed. "Emily, you love your birthday."

I remembered how I was imagining my own birthday while I was making this cake tonight. "...Yeah, that's true."

Also true: I don't think I will ever get too old to ask for help scraping batter out of the bowl and into the pan. 

200th post

I thought about doing some kind of epic "200" list for my 200th post, but that seemed like a lot of work for a small payoff. But then I thought, 20 is kind of like 200, except... pleasingly small.

So, I bring to you:

20 things I want to do (in no particular order) before I write 100 more blog posts

1. read Infinite Jest again, this time in chronological order.
2. submit a poem to a literary journal, just for fun.
3. gain greater guitar skills. this is actually going to happen, unless I somehow manage to write 100 blog posts in the next 3 weeks.
4. go to an NHL game, try not to feel guilty about the violence of the game, etc.
5. read The Brothers Karamazov; attempt to build a friendlier relationship with russian literature.
6. go on a date. ...one recent trip from harrisonburg to bethesda included a conversation between 4 women on the merits of online dating. which was hilarious, I tell you what, but a less creepy option might be to find a guy from hyattesville to go with me to a poetry reading at busboys and poets.
7. make pumpkin soup in a pumpkin. this also will happen, thanks to The Housemate.
8. memorize another Eliot poem. 
9. meet Christian Wiman. this will never happen, but a girl can dream.
10. go to a political protest. surely something interesting will happen near me before I reach 300 posts.
11. sleep a lot. this will definitely happen.
12. make something edible with The Housemate using the foraged acorns. hopefully be pleasantly surprised.
13. get a pet. a turtle? give said creature a name relating to particle physics (charm? lepton? yes.)
14. send more mail. this is not altruistic. I would like to get more mail.
15. go to an art museum. maybe after the government un-shuts itself.
16. visit baltimore & hopefully run into the crazy americorps people again. oh, and hopefully NOT get lost.
17. gain public transit skills. DC Metro, I'm looking at you.
18. start a fiction-writing group? this probably will not happen, given my neuroses about my writing + how busy all my writing friends/acquaintances are. 
19. re-henna my hair. or something.
20. grow an avocado tree. seedling. whatever. it's in the works.

a handful of change

"I've been thinking about seeing. There are lots of things to see, unwrapped gifts and free surprises. The world is fairly studded with pennies cast broadside from a generous hand. But...who gets excited by a mere penny?

It is dire poverty indeed when a man is so malnourished and fatigued that he won't stoop to pick up a penny. But if you cultivate a healthy poverty and simplicity, so that finding a penny will literally make your day, then, since the world is in fact planted in pennies, you have with your poverty bought a lifetime of days.

It is that simple. What you see is what you get."

-Annie Dillard


Some pennies from the last 24 hours:

*my brother texting me about hockey
*seeing the praying mantis perched on the truck at the end of my street
*signing up for a CSA with The Housemate and picking out a week's worth of fruit & fall veggies
*listening to anais mitchell in the car; the setting sun lighting the beltway all orange and gold while the shenandoah song was playing
*facebook conversations with friends in florida and mississippi and pittsburgh
*listening to This American Life as I'm working (yes, I am still working...)
*listening to all the international scientists discussing my country's government. (ha. hahahaha. ...ugh)
*acorn squash for supper


well! I feel much more cheerful about my life after making that list. feel free to add pennies to the comments below...

#grateful

for Harrisonburg.
that I have so many homes.
that I know so many lovely human beings.
that there are so many churches in the world that feel like home.
that the elephant ear plant is still growing.
that the bag of potatoes made it from lancaster to harrisonburg to here.
that R said, i like to think you are my friend. 
for the way morning light falls slanted and bright through the windows.
that I have gained a little confidence since I first set foot in Hburg.
that I can see this in myself.
for friends that ask how I feel about Syria.
for weekends.
for brothers.
for drinking tea in the dark.
for The Housemate.
for the car full of strong women.
for the conversations we had during the drive.
for tomatillo seeds.
for letters.
for hiking.
for the tiny salamander I held in my hand.
for children, and the stories they tell.
that I am here.
that I am alive.

so many thoughts in my head

this is what happens now that I don't have schoolwork to occupy my time.

1.) last week was a bit discouraging at work. I felt like I was disappointing my boss, etc., etc. The Housemate gave me a rousing peptalk and said, "well, emily, at least you aren't delinquent."

right. as long as I just keep showing up. just keep going, I told myself. no feeling is final. and wouldn't you know, both The Housemate and Rilke were right.

2.) sometimes I despair of ever being as wise as the family I come from. when I was home the other weekend I was talking with my dad about some of my questions and thoughts and fears about money, power, growing-into-a-person-I-won't-like...

I think Bethesda is so weird, sometimes; driving along River Road down to the C&O Canal is weird. I've got no other word for it. I think about what River Road means in Lancaster, that drive down to the Susquehanna; "trailer trash," banks of weeds, the muddy waters of the Pequea running sluggishly with kids floating in inner tubes. Here, River Road means wealth, the kind of money that buys you thousands of square feet on each floor, turrets and gated driveways and double rows of pine trees planted between your property and everyone else.

I say these things to my dad, and he says, "don't paint with too broad a brush."

he says, "it's like what Paul wrote, about being content when you have little and content when you have much."

is it really so easy? I thought, jiggling my leg anxiously under the table. the thought's been sticking in my head these pasts several days. it can't be that easy. but yes, maybe - it could be -

Actually, I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. 

(Philippians 4:11-14, The Message)

3.) ...and man, I love when thoughts about God and how to live and this really important stuff intersects with art and poetry. 

Our hands full or not:

The same abundance.

Our eyes open or shut:

The same light.

-Yves Bonnefoy

4.) I also despair of ever being as awesome as my grandparents, who have, for a time, extended a very generous helping hand to some folks in need. Oddly enough, one of the things that's been banging around in my head in regards to this (quite interesting) development in my family's life is a quote from Tolkien's The Two Towers. Funny, how those books stick with you.

"One who cannot cast away a treasure at need is in fetters."

I am constantly having this feeling that I am almost seeing what God is saying about the kingdom being at hand. It still doesn't quite make sense; it still is hazy, like far-off mountains on the day of a summer storm. 

But it is coming in to focus, and the bits I am seeing keep hinting that it is like what Linford told me, one time on cross-cultural, maybe even on the streets of Damascus (oh, unreal city, may peace visit your streets). That  abundant life is found in giving things away, giving your life away.

...In the re-creation of the world, when the Son of Man will rule gloriously,

you who have followed me will also rule...and not only you, but anyone who sacrifices home, family, fields - whatever - because of me will get it all back a hundred times over, not to mention the considerable bonus of eternal life. This is the Great Reversal: many of the first ending up last, and the last first.

(Matthew 19:28-30, The Message)

5.) Sometimes at the end of a day of work I remember a little sticky note I saw tacked up on the Redmond House fridge. "Everyone wants to start the revolution, but no one wants to do the dishes."

Ah, adult life. How tedious and boring you can be! May I learn patience and perseverance in the midst of this dryness. 

6.) "I'm feeling like it's time for a blog post," said The Housemate. 

"Yes," I said, "I think so, too." 

it's the little things...

yesterday The Housemate said to me, "tomorrow evening looks like rain. let's make good food."

so far i've done most of the grocery shopping & cleaning, and she's done most of the cooking, and we've ended up with:

tomatillo salsa
spicy chicken tofu soup
pesto
peanut butter chocolate banana smoothies
banana pudding pie

I think I should make note of this; rainy day = food prep time.
mmm. now it's time to tackle the dishes. ;)

(it's sooo good. try it! try it! I even left you the recipe!)

EDIT:// apparently it's true that cooking can bring good conversation into the kitchen; i was just telling the story of when i learned to make a chocolate angel food cake with my nana last year. and then i asked The Housemate if she had ever heard of the dessert graham cracker fluff (also called wooflepoof, i told her, to which she said what? wifflepuff? and then i said never mind) and when i did a google search for the dessert to try to explain it, this is the first thing that came up. oh, what a small, small Mennonite world.