Living Deep Awake

I don't know where this saying comes from - I first heard it from a friend of mine at EMU. I think of it as my antidote to a society that thrives on antidepressants and corporate cubicle farms. It is possible to sleepwalk through life because of business or boredom or laziness or exhaustion. It's possible to just not. pay. attention.

I don't want that.

Living deep awake - it's the opposite of sleepwalking through life. Being aware of the life that is thriving around you. Alert to it, to the beauty; all this beauty, all around us, all the time.


Here is how I've been living deep awake this summer:

treating hanging up laundry like an art form
noticing the bugs outside, and smiling at them
listening to bon iver - putting holocene on repeat
writing poetry
reading poetry
shelling peas
riding bike with my dad and noticing shadows
sleeping enough (it's important. it helps me see things better. it helps me love the world)
listening to my thoughts
kayaking
shopping at the vietnamese grocery in lancaster city
taking risks
sending letters
loving life
loving God
loving the world


Mary Oliver writes: I don't know what a prayer is. I do know how to pay attention, how to be idle and blessed, which is what I have been doing all day.

I like that thought very much. I do know how to pay attention to the created world. I do know, little by little, a little more each day, the character of the Creator. I want to do this more and more. I want to see better. I want to be Awake.

blessings

there are lots of ways to remind yourself to be grateful; make lists of things that you are thankful for, pray (continually, give thanks in all circumstances...), surround yourself with people who are looking at those things in life that are lovely.

i am generally a grateful person, i think. on most days, i am the idealist, the optimist, the poet marveling at creation. but it is rare for me to be grateful about things that i don't like.

i don't like folding laundry. (matching socks = pet peeve of mine) today, though...today as i dumped my clothes on thia's bed and started sorting through the warm t-shirts and jeans and socks and sweatshirt and towel and sheets and pajama pants i thought i am so blessed.

i am grateful that i have so many clothes that it takes me a while to fold them. i'm grateful for the work of folding them. i'm even grateful for needing to match my socks.

so tell me - what 'annoying' thing are you grateful for?

time keeps getting away from me

i don't understand how it's been a month since i've blogged; anyway, today was a chance to slow down and breath again. it was good to be still; it is raining now and i am listening to the sound through the windows. 

It's been a long time

So it's been a while since I wrote anything on here. Partly because I'm busy, partly because I don't feel like I have too much to say; I guess that happens when you're a third year biochem major.

But. It is almost my 21st birthday, and tonight 8 of my best college friends and I are having a MURDER MYSTERY DINNER PARTY and I am so excited. (If you are confused right now, see here: Murder Mystery). Ours is based off of Hamlet and is more along the lines of the "interactive" style as explained on the wikipedia page.

Basically, this is taking our Friday Night "nerd dinners" to a whole new level. :)

Also, I don't have to cook AND I got to choose what we are having for dinner (gourmet mac&cheese, green salad, & apple crisp). I love birthdays.

This weekend I:

saw Star Wars: A New Hope for the first time, read The Hunger Games, saw my brother for about 5 minutes, ate lunch with my dad, played Portal for an hour, had my Friday Night Dinner/Discussion, turned in a paper, turned in a lab write up, took an online quiz for Neuro, read a bunch in the Neuroscience textbook, read a bunch of A History of the Jews, slept, ate toast with garlic salt (the quick way to make garlic bread!), slept, slept, did lots of laundry.

that's a pretty good weekend if i do say so myself.

some things I'm thinking about

what does it mean to develop ethics through the framework of friendship?
how does one cultivate a friendship with scripture?
this quote by herbert mccabe: "In one way (at one level), you could say that as knives are for cutting and pens are for writing, people are for living with each other."
what it means to live in a new creation
Psalm 8:
When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers—
      the moon and the stars you set in place—
  what are mere mortals that you should think about them,
      human beings that you should care for them?
  Yet you made them only a little lower than God
      and crowned them with glory and honor.

Abraham's entry into israel. the covenant that includes the phrase 'you will be a blessing.'

damascus; beit sahour, jerusalem

gaza

how to be a witness to suffering without being pulled under

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/25/haditha-killings-frank-wuterich-iraq_n_1230889.html?ref=world

my professor, peter dula, spending an easter in baghdad. peter teaching ethics here.

the stutzmans traveling with a new cross-cultural group

going to a sort of baby-blessing-party tonight for a woman from my homegroup

things I am not thinking enough about:

my ochem exam on friday

Thoughts on Advent; Life is Vast & Wonderful; Thia is home

This past week has been overwhelming: anatomy lab exam (cumulative), biochem presentation prep; finishing ceramics things; Christmas parties, etc., etc.

And on Saturday Thia came back from South Africa. So many stories shared already, so much left to hear.

Today at church we were focused, of course, on advent. On waiting; on what we are waiting for. It was a good morning, and what made it even better was that after the service was over my home group presented me with a basket of food - cookies and an orange and coffee and tea and pretzels - a Christmas present and finals care-package all in one.

I know lots of people who are critical of church & have been hurt by churches; I am sometimes one of these people. But I am beginning to see (and to know deep in my bones) the ways in which it is possible to become part of a family (even when your family is far away) through a community of faith. I love Early Church. I feel loved there. My Advent prayer for this afternoon is that as we wait in expectation for a future redemption we do not settle for anything less than striving to live into the Kingdom of God now.